i wake up just to go back to sleep.

so today, in the post, i received even more rejection - as if i haven't already had enough this year. basically i applied for a job that i reallyyy wanted, it sounded so amazing - the place itself is so lovely and there were so many random upsides and 'perks', i suppose, of working there. i knew that actually getting the job would be difficult, i mean there aren't all that many jobs out there at the minute (it's quite frankly the worst year ever to be looking for employment) and scores of people are after the same positions but i suppose on some level i thought i had a good chance...i just feel like it's one more thing that i've failed at, am not good enough for...and i'm bloody sick of people judging me and telling me i'm not good enough to do something. i'm so sick of trying my goddam hardest and just been turned down and rejected the whole time. my friend told me to 'keep trying', but i don't want to! it's sooo unfair! i've tried my absolute hardest this year and i've got nothing to show for it. urgh. i'm just miserable i guess...i've been left behind and this is my life now...i actually hate it. i've also decided not to go on facebook for a while because it just upsets me. well, upsets me more than i already permanently am...