epiphany.

i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m actually quite happy to just be by myself at the moment. as much as i’d love all the little couply things and to mean an awful lot to someone etc etc i’ve still got plenty of time for that. plus, to be honest, while i’m still so hung up on him it wouldn’t actually be fair for me to bring someone else into the picture and actually, i don’t really even want to. i’m really quite content to just be single right now - trust me, this is quite the revelation. but i actually feel as though, in a way, a huge weight has been lifted. this is the happiest i've felt in a long time: i’m alone - and that’s ok :).

my mother just came upstairs and asked me if i was 'ok' - it was easiest to just say 'yes' than to attempt to explain to her that i'm not 'ok' and that i can't remember the last time i was happy.

i've said it before

and i'll say it again: 2009 is shite.